Trusting God, with everything you have...


The first thing that comes to my mind about where we were during this whole time was just Busy. Occupied and Busy. He had gotten the flu, what we THOUGHT was the flu. He missed a few days of school and he knew he couldn't miss the science fair- he was on a team. So if he didn't show up, his team would all get a zero. So he went. He ran a fever, which was totally against my rules to send my kids to school with a fever, but he told me mom I don't have a choice. I remember him coming back and looking really, really tired. His eyes were sunken in and he just didn't look good, so we let him stay home a few days after that.

He started complaining about pain in his hip and he said, Dad, my hip hurts. But I remember it got to the point where he couldn't get in his loft bed. Again, we were so busy I look back now and think why did it take so long, we were so busy and he wasn't complaining during the day. we had gotten to the point where we had taken the mattress of his loft bed and put it on the floor. NO fever, just pain. It was a Sunday morning ad he just couldn't get up anymore. 

Right there, I remember feeling we need to take him to the emergency room. When I pulled into that parking lot and Micah looked at the location of the hospital and said, did you have to park this far?... and I knew then, man, this is worse than I think. I helped him get to the front door and when the sliding glass doors opened, a lady asked do you need a wheelchair? and Iooked at him and said, yea, I guess we do. 

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When he sat down in that wheelchair, he didn't walk again for almost a week. He's on hydrocodine, muscle relaxers, and it's not taking the edge off of the pain and that's when he started some morphine at that point. And if you know me, its like, my kids don't take Tylenol. Im like, tough it out. Let it break, let the fever break, and at this point I'm looking at my child who is pumped full of drugs and I'm just crying out to God- God, what is happening?

I was just crying out to God, Lord SAVE MY SON!

We started praying a lot, I remember as he slept, the heavier sedated he became the louder I probably became knowing he couldn't hear me, just crying out to God, Save my son. 

I think it was about that time, the church was spending the time praying for people in the church on that First Wednesday and i think that's where they stopped and prayed and in the same exact time, it was right then he got up and went to the bathroom. it was like a toddler taking its first steps again. we were like 30 seconds later. A friend called me, I think I actually told her first, he walked! He walked to the bathroom!

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She said, I called to tell you, (she had snuck out of service to tell me how powerful the prayer was) we JUST got done praying as a body for him. I knew God was telling me, I've got this. And for me as a Mother, fear has always just gripped me. Where my kids are concerned. The more I talk to people the more women that struggle with that. Constantly the Lord has been saying to me, their mine, their mine, let me have them, let me have them. And during this time, so many chains were broken off of me where fear is concerned. and that's, I think the main thing for all of us was that, God was saying, do you trust me? Do you trust me in this trial? Do you trust me in your pain? Do you trust me? 

God was saying, “Do you trust me? Do you trust me in this trial? Do you trust me in your pain? Do you TRUST me? 

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marsais urban