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[Woman] You see the baby?

Our oldest was still four years old when our youngest was born. And life was pretty crazy with four little ones. Lots of diapers... And yeah. Just kinda trying keep our head above water.

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Her name is Amelia.

Right about 18 months, we noticed some bruising on her. Just kind of chalked it up to just playing hard. It was the end of summer and the kids had all been home. Didn't really think much of it but had a pediatric doctors appointment. - At about 19 months I had taken her in for a pediatric visit and at that visit I was explaining some of the symptoms that she was experiencing and so the doctor said, "Okay, we're gonna stop this appointment right here. "I'd like for you to run to the hospital "and have some blood work done. "And be sure to stress to them "that you want the information back STAT."

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And so, we went there and we're making our way back to the vehicle. We we're gonna go have lunch with Matthew and some friends. Before I could get back to the car, the doctor called me back and said, "You need to turn around and go to the E.R. "and a doctor will meet you there." I was scared. I knew that something serious might be going wrong. And within just a few minutes, we got the diagnosis that our daughter had cancer.


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Matthew and I took a moment and prayed together like we hadn't before. We received an answer right away that we needed to move to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, Tennessee. It seemed almost as if God was withholding until we took time to submit ourselves to Him and ask Him in all earnest, to seek Him with our whole heart. It was like the floodgates were opened up and He showed us exactly what we needed to do from there. - Treatment is not easy. It was rough, a lot of ups and downs. We had a summer together. Everybody went up to Memphis. We took a trip to the beach.

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We did family together, just having as long as we could with her and we assumed that would be months but we didn't know and that quickly turned to maybe weeks and then maybe days.

And it was.

It was about 10 days after that relapse that she was gone. That's painful. That's pain I've never felt before. We couldn't walk those steps with each other 'cause she was grieving in a way that I couldn't help and I was grieving in a way that she couldn't help.

So, for about four years, I just kind of wallowed in that. I finally came to the point where I was like, "I think I'm ready to be done with this anger "and I'm ready to reconcile my relationship with God." It was in that moment where we found this Grief Share group and it was very different than anything else we had experienced because other things kind of... I felt like I was sitting in the muck and the mire and there wasn't really any hope but with this program, it was like, there was hope again and it provided a perspective that God has on grieving and it...

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And see His light again.